The Official Blog of Dr. Mark Britzman

A Near Death Experience

markbritzman — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:32:42 +0000

Unfortunately, many of us do not become passionate about life until we have a “near death” experience. A crisis in life often jump-starts us to ponder our own sense of mortality. One of my first jobs out of high school was with the park department. My first duty was to clean the deep end of the pool with the park department underwater breathing equipment and a submersible vacuum. Who was I to say no to this task on my first day on the job? My nervousness was compounded when my boss said to me, “Be sure the generator is away from the water. A few years ago, we lost a kid who reached up for the generator switch while in the water.” My thoughts were “And I am getting $3 an hour to do this.” Being one to jump into challenges, I strapped on the underwater gear and headed down to the bottom with the aid of a lead vest.

I actually enjoyed the experience once I became more comfortable. I remember pretending I was a diver, exploring the world of the ocean. I was under water for over an hour and only had the last corner of the deep end to clean. It was a good feeling to see my progress as the bottom of the pool appeared much cleaner than when I had begun. As I reached for the last corner to clean, I was unaware that I had used up all the excess hose to my air tank, which was connected to the generator near the fence of the pool deck.

The air hose tightened and disconnected from my face mask. Immediately, water gushed into the mask. I could not breathe; I couldn’t see. I remember telling myself, “Just stay calm and take off your lead vest and swim to the top.” I reached down to the homemade, weighted vest, which was secured to me like a life jacket but fastened around my chest with a zipper. As I reached down to unzip the vest, a feeling of horror overcame me. The zipper was stuck. “Oh, oh!” I tried again and again without success. I tried to swim up to the top with no avail with all the excess weight of the vest. I tried to crawl up the side of the pool, but it was too slippery.

By this time I had trouble holding my breath any longer. I panicked. Water covered my entire face mask, and I was unable to breath. My last ditch attempt for survival was to try and rip the lead vest off, which did not seem promising. Unbelievably, with the aid of an adrenaline rush, I ripped the vest off my body and floated upward. When I reached the top, I was totally exhausted and coughed and wheezed.

Another park department worker was supposed to be supervising me, but he had gone on break instead. When I found him, I gave him a piece of my mind spiced with four-letter words. The crew laughed hysterically. To this day, I am still not sure how I was able to rip the vest off. One thing was clear. My time could have been up at an early age.

I came away from that experience thinking, “Wow, I could have been history.” I believe that incident somehow jump-started me into thinking about my future much more seriously. It was time to live life with a sense of urgency. It is too bad it takes a brush with death to ignite the process of taking the time to reflect on one’s purpose and direction in life. I do believe it is possible to consciously make a decision to wallow with our mortality and to develop a sense of purpose without the aftermath of a near miss.

Pursuing The Good Life

markbritzman — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:45:12 +0000

What if a close friend asks, “What do you ultimately want to do with your life?” You respond, “I want to be happy.” After an uncomfortable silence, your friend asks, “How could someone as intelligent and capable as you want nothing more than to be happy?” “I didn’t say how I wanted to be happy,” you reply. “There are so many pathways to happiness, but I really want to become a person of strong character and have enriched relationships, do something meaningful, be free to determine my destiny, take time to promote wellness, and also take enjoy the all the wonderful present moments.”

The pain of regret is often much greater than the pain of self-discipline. When you look back on your life, will you have any regrets related to the following?
• I wish I had spent more time with…

• I wish I had had the courage to follow my gifts and talents and…

• I wish I had spent more time having fun doing…

• I wish I had taken better care of my health by…

• I wish I had used my freedom to…

The real test of pursuing the good life is a willingness to accept our freedom of choice especially when we do not want to. Even though it is difficult to call on our moral courage, remember the old French proverb that says, “There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience.” Pursuing the good life will help you sleep well tonight and go after what matters most tomorrow.
Moreover, regarding your existence, I hope you ponder the following:
• What kind of person do I want to become?

• What should I do with my life?

• What will help me experience a good life?

• What will be my proudest accomplishments and legacy?

Seemingly, what matters most in life is seizing opportunities to love and be loved, using your giftedness and living a life that is significant, being reminded that you are free to choose and manage your life in harmony with what is most important, and being open to the wonder and delight that each moment brings.

Britzman, M.J. (2009). Pursuing the good life. Bloomington, IN: Unlimited Publishing.

www.pursuingthegoodlife.com

So What Is the Good Life?

markbritzman — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 16:31:06 +0000

How would you respond?